Mindful Drinker Gifts

Optimist - Pessimist - Pragmatist

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

"My therapist told me to stop bottling things up."

If that's my psychiatrist, I'm not here, but wherever I am, I'm living in the moment. ? ? Ring.

Joe's Bar: Ask about our self-esteem seminar.

"I like worrying about the future. I'm so busy I don't regret the past."

Holiday Cheers and Holiday Tears

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

Wine Lady

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

The drinker.

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Alternative Medicine. Group Hug.

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

Cocktails and Peacocks

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

Halal Meat Everywhere Shock!

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

'Yes, well, in my practice patients are encouraged to express their feeling to the fullest.'

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

Muses of the Couch

"Yeah. What I remember most is that you still owe me money!"