Pensive Drinker Gifts

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Wine Lady

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'The first cocktail.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

'Just too many choices.'

The drinker.

"Physician heal thyself."

Cocktails and Peacocks

If that's my psychiatrist, I'm not here, but wherever I am, I'm living in the moment. ? ? Ring.

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

"So how did 'DRY JANUARY' go?"

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

'Thinker's drinker.'

Christmas drinker

'There's a machine now that tells you when to stop drinking. It's called a cash point machine.'

"I like worrying about the future. I'm so busy I don't regret the past."

Optimist - Pessimist - Pragmatist

"My therapist told me to stop bottling things up."

'I just hate how everyone sees everything as black or white!'

"Time flies." "Time is money."

'They're nice, but do you really expect me to drink my imported Merlot from domestic Merlot glasses?'

'I would like one of your driest martinis in one of your finest sippy cups.'

'Bottles water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!...'

Joe's Bar: Ask about our self-esteem seminar.

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

"This wine has hints of rebellion with a lingering finish of rugged individuality - did you buy this to defy me?"

'I think the guy behind me is saying grace.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

Hunting, gathering, hunting, gathering...I keep thinking there must be more to life.