Picky Drinker Gifts

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

Happy Hour

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"He's such a fussy eater."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'The first cocktail.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'

'Just too many choices.'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Life is so unfair! There are already ants in the cake but none in the broccoli casserole!"

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

The drinker.

"Trust me, it tastes good – you won’t like it."

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

''Is there anybody there?'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

'I don't want to eat this. I want to eat organic foods.'

'Single or double?'

"I'll have filet mignon, and she'll have the chef whip up something with no meat, dairy, wheat, soy or flavor."