Introspective Drinker Gifts

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

Wine glass face.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

X-ray Psychology.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'You must heal yourself.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

James decided to stay in that night.

Marcel Proust

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

"So why do you think it's so hard to let others in?"

Reflection (with bubbles)

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

Rabbit Punch

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.