Introspective Drinker Pillows

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

Wine glass face.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

X-ray Psychology.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'You must heal yourself.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

James decided to stay in that night.

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"So why do you think it's so hard to let others in?"

Whiskey wars

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Reflection (with bubbles)

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

Rabbit Punch

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"

"What if anxiety is hereditary?"