Introverted Sipper Pillows

Happy hour bar vs. miserable hour bar.

"Can you recommend a wine that would serve as a good conversation inhibitor?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

'How long you planning on staying up there, Bill?'

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"I know you hate these parties. Just do your best to blend in."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

Ouija Bored

"Sorry—our counter is reserved for lone dudes staring at their phones in silence."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

"I love summer."

Scariest Tactics

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

Hi-I'm Dave. Hi-I'm off limits.

"Bartender - givish me another shot."

"...First, we'll have to get you out of your shell...."

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

Three Bland Mice

'I've just discovered that the only loop I'm in, is the one I just got thrown for...'

I HEART & MISS STRANGERS

Hiding in a cupboard for a few hours helped Tom survive the festive season.

"Ignore everyone."

'I used to be ambitious, but I find it easier to feel guilty about lack of ambition.'

"Your signs didn't work, Harold."