Reflective Drinker Pillows

"Before I had kids I was the life of the party. Now that I have kids I'm still the life of the party, and a terrible parent."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Needs to get a life"

"The overthinker"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Whiskey wars

Rabbit Punch

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

Sharing Drinks.

"Half-full. Those were the days."

The drinker.

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."