Reflective Drinker Pillows

"Before I had kids I was the life of the party. Now that I have kids I'm still the life of the party, and a terrible parent."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"The overthinker"

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"Needs to get a life"

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Ogden Nash: 'Middle age is when you've met so many people, that every new person reminds you of someone else.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

Rabbit Punch

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"It just happens...one day you wake up and you find that your best billable hours are behind you."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Sharing Drinks.

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Half-full. Those were the days."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

The drinker.