Millennial Thinker Pillows

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

Politically Correct Snowperson

Wifi in Hell

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Woke Jersey Shore

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Fables for the Millennial.

Man bun tending

Captain Millennial

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

Hipster Charm Offensive

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"What's a phone book?"

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Crybaby Millennials

Disloyal

"When I was young, we had a lot of hair and no tattoos. Now everything's all reversed."