Millennial Philosopher Pillows

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

Housing Dilemma for Young Adults

Fables for the Millennial.

Wifi in Hell

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

Fur Baby

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"He's an indoor cat."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

Midlife: You Are Here.

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

Phil at Fifty: Still Trying to Find Himself

'I'm worried about Junior. He's so lazy he won't even take his own selfie.'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

It's a Millennial Generation Life off!

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Son, you don't need social media to make you feel inadequate and depressed - you've got your parents."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"Sometimes, on a day like this, I can just catch the faintest smell of youth."

"You've hit the age where your broad mind and narrow waist are turning into your narrow mind and broad waist."

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Man bun tending

“Mom, can you come get me?”

"What's wrong with your dad?"

Captain Millennial

'it's going through mid-life crisis.'

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."