Millennium Thinker Pillows

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Nation-building never works."

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Zenemies.

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

Slavery Reparations

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

How life on Earth really got its start.

EU and India partnership.

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

Population rocket