Millennium Thinker Pillows

'We programmed it to simulate living conditions in the year 2000, and it's become hysterical.'

"Nation-building never works."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

Chiller Theatre

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Zenemies.

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Slavery Reparations

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

How life on Earth really got its start.

EU and India partnership.

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'