Millennial Mindset Pillows

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

"I literally don't even remember what we do here."

Captain Millennial

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"We added it just for the millenials."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

Fables for the Millennial.

Man bun tending

“Mom, can you come get me?”

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"No, no, no! You're, like, 'I really, really, really love you,' and you're, like, 'Whatever.' "

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Crybaby Millennials

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."

"Fabric softener, chain restaurants, divorce—you millennials are killing everything. I'm impressed."

Dumpster Chic....Hipster Chic.