Millennial Culture Pillows

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Wifi in Hell

"And though he was but one, young Zach could fearlessly cancel with the strength of many."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Bored Apathetic Smiley Face Meme

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

Millennial Pain Assessment

Man bun tending

“Mom, can you come get me?”

Captain Millennial

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

Millennial

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

"What's a phone book?"

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

Disloyal

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"