Millennial Trends Pillows

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Woke Jersey Shore

'Why do you want an earring? You can't even see it!'

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Captain Millennial

Man bun tending

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"I think we have mice in the walls."

"At least he's being buried with the one he loved most."

'Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid of, and the following generation buys again.'

"I'm sorry, Dave. You lost me after the first 140 words."

Millennial

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Goth Concerns: "I dunno, guys. lately things have been going really well for me. I can't think of a single reason to be unhappy."

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

Crybaby Millennials

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Sitting Desk, Standing Desk, Leaning Desk, Sleeping Desk.

"If the average attention span is 8 seconds, why are most commercials 30 seconds?"