Millennial Humor Lover Pillows

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"Like my Facebook page."

"This counts as one wish, by the way."

Why Cows Leave Home

"He's an indoor cat."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Bubbie Selfies

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

'Ms. Trent, would you go down to the third grade and get one of the computer techs?'

"And remember, dear, at midnight it turns back into an Uber."

Statue Selfie

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

"I have only my selfie to blame."

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

"I need a companion."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"Bummer. Let's try the castle down the road."

"I finally memorized my bug number."

Tito, I care a great deal for you, as you know. So can I tell you something? Who's "Tito"? I'm Randy. Exactly what I'm talking about. Your generation is full of self-centered narcissists. You expect people to care what you had for breakfast, what movie you saw ... ... what your name is ... Don't be one of those people, Jermaine. RANDY. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-10).

"Hah! Look at this young millennial snapchatting the sunset! It is I, aging millennial, who will have the last laugh when I tweet about how dumb that is!"

"OK, boomer."

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."