Millennial Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"He's going for the younger audience."

Why Cows Leave Home

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"He's an indoor cat."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"The season finale of the world is near."

Bubbie Selfies

'I get 23 stations and a place to hang my coat!'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

This could be worse than the GFC...an emotional Santa logs on and de-friends Rudolph.'

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

'Don't email me. I'll email you.'

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

'Do you take this woman...'-'Sorry just got a call coming through.'

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

"OK, boomer."

"Hah! Look at this young millennial snapchatting the sunset! It is I, aging millennial, who will have the last laugh when I tweet about how dumb that is!"

"Nothing serious, Bob - just a case of the forties."

"Hi. We're all in the eighteen-to-thirty-four-year-old age group that you're a member of. Come on out and play with us."