Millennial Humor Fan Pillows

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"He's an indoor cat."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

Toilet humour

Spinning violinist

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

'The Streetwise Men.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Avocado...t-toast..."

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

'Your diary? How come you didn't just blog it way back then?'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

"And there's one more - Do not covet they neighbour's Wifi."

"No thanks. I'm gay"