Millennial Humor Fan Pillows

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"He's an indoor cat."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

Toilet humour

Spinning violinist

"The season finale of the world is near."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"We're just pleased he can still get into the Christmas spirit."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

'The Streetwise Men.'

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

Bah, when I was your age, I had to walk five miles through the snow just to ... to ... Well, just to walk five miles through the snow, I guess.

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

'Your diary? How come you didn't just blog it way back then?'

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

Jerry Brown Reaches Out to Young Voters

"No thanks. I'm gay"

"Quick, before the shock wave hits."

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

So what if the school took a webcam picture of a kid at home? Emily? They're spying! It's totally over the line! What line?

"And there's one more - Do not covet they neighbour's Wifi."

"That growth spurt I was waiting for didn't quite turn out the way I'd hoped."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."