Milk Alternative Fan Pillows

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

Smart Arse Meter

Humpty Dumpty to psychiatrist: 'It's like there's this thing inside me that's trying to get out.'

Man riding a bike frame with a cat and a dog attached to harnesses where the wheels would normally be

'Are these eggs fresh enough for you?'

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

"Our teeth-cleaning procedure is 100% organic."

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

Milk...Milk...Anything but MILK!!

'If powdered milk's your thing! I'm your gal!'

"Should anyone present think Dan’s tree-hugging has gone off the rails, speak now or forever hold your peace."

'I am on a holiday from hell.'

'This little baby runs on solar, electric power, hydrogen, bio-fuel...practically anything but gas!'

'How about using a knife like everyone else?'

"Relax, honey — they’re apples."

'Shake!...Good dog.'

"It was either him or me."

'Looks like a great job!'

'We're gonna kill 'em with obesity.'

"Hey! Where's our regular driver?"

US congress unpopularity.