Milk Fan Pillows

"It's not for me, it's for Santa..."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Non-Humble Pie.

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"I'm a monster."

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Fridge-to-table"

"Does it come with magnets?"

Wall Cluck.

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

Take me to your lactator!

'I'll take the S. O. S. breakfast special...hold the shingle.'

The Magic Float

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

'Mary, watch where you're pointing that thing!'

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried - it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

Baby drinking competition

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

Rep-Tiles.

"Can you make me a tall Tazo chai latte with soy milk?" Bartleby, the soon-to-be-unemployed barista.