Military Jesters Gifts

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

Richard the Turd

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

'I take it his performance review went well.'

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'He said his first buzz word today!'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

Nil By Ear

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

"Is something funny, soldier?"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

'It certainly is a big one!'

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

'Oh, about your theory - Heisenberg thinks he's found a loophole.'

Vendor is the knight: knight sells hotdogs.

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Chris Matthews'

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

Help Wanted Signs Explained.

Coast to coast walk.

Castaway can't remembers how to write S.O.S.

"I wonder what kind of welcome we'll get on this planet?"

'Did he leave an actual horoscope that I could read?'

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

'You know the saying 'He who dies with the most toys wins?' Well, THIS is what you win!'

"People often think management is glamorous, that we spend all our time engaging in high profile decision making."

Man flashing at a periscope in the middle of the ocean

Another session of the lunch-hour scientists...

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'