Military Giggles Gifts

'Ignore Malcolm...he farts like a trooper.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Cat in a tank...

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

'At ease, soldier.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

French Army knife

"I'm just gonna reach in my back pocket real slow-like and turn off my ringer."

"Did you call for a Medic?"

'M.O.D. find budget replacement for the Fleet Air arm.'

'At last! Some decent kit.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Your Country Needs MOO!

At a Country House

Banting in the Yeomanry

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

Ad Valorem

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'THINGMY ON THE PORT BOW!! You know, what's it called? Long and pointy... Very fast... TORPEDO ON THE PORT BOW!!'

The Bengal Lancers/Bingo Lancers/Bagel Lancers/Bungle Lancers

"Whoever made fun of my hat better step forward now, or I'll turn this march around!"

The Emperor of Irony

'I know you didn't just reach through the torpedo tube and grab those fish.'