Government Giggler Gifts

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it will never get through congress."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Clown God

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Cavemen Exhibit

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

'If Batman can have a batmobile why can't a snowman...'

'Whoops!'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

When suddenly the clouds parted and down came Jeez, a god appalled by how his name is used in vain.

'They're evolving like mad -- You put in way too many cosmic rays!'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Finally some good news about out new vitamin pill!'

'Your kinect is broken.'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

Clown 'Laugh Top' Computer.

Nah, not up to much – just got let go by a sneeze, so I'm between bodies.

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"Who ate all the pieties?"

"I was told I needed to clean out my computer, so that's what I did. Maybe I used the wrong detergent in the washer, because it won't work now."

"I think I'm picking up a 'holier than thou' vibe here."

You didn't tell me it was iTheatre...

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms