Government Giggle Grabber Gifts

Civil & Uncivil Servants.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

Federal Departument of Edutainment.

Freeway exit signs: Regulation, Deregulation, Reregulation.

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

'The reason the cost of government is so high is that it takes hundreds of congressmen locked in a room to produce gridlock.'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

'The government is DETERMINED to get rid of the 'target culture'...in fact we've committed to reducing targets by 68^ across 75% of the 76 most target driven departments within 96 days!'

Ladder in a lift shard.

'Why retire? Working a nonfunctioning - government is just like being retired.'

'The anger management class ruined our budget when they ordered love seats.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

Clown 'Laugh Top' Computer.

'Your kinect is broken.'

'If you want me to mount you 22-pound bass you've got to let go of it.'

"I was told I needed to clean out my computer, so that's what I did. Maybe I used the wrong detergent in the washer, because it won't work now."

Federal Bureau of Management and Budget - Visit our new website easy.comeasy.gov

IRS: 'Ours and Theirs.'

USBULA United States Bureau of Unnecessarily Long Acronyms

National Union of Contortionists: We vote with our feet

"Our perks and massively generous pensions don't sit comfortably with my conscience...sacrifices will have to be made!"

Beware Of The Hog...

Ways and Means/Means and Ends

Ideas that failed: The computer moose.

Easy TV Repair

'Local council approved mugger. Beware of frauds.'

'Sarge - I think I've thrown my mobile!'

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it will never get through congress."

Don't worry, you're fine - I'm just having with a latch. A-1 Gate Repair.

"Look, Rudolph, I made Santa a GPS tracking system for Christmas!"

"It's time I explained the Birds and Bees and PMS to you."