Milestone Marriage Enthusiast Gifts

"Do we have any for 25 years? That's a good one, sir! I can't wait to tell that to the rest of the staff!!"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Pearly King and Queen

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'You mustn't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Dear. It makes me feel redundant.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

First Steps

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

'She said her first words today.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

'Today's our 15th wedding anniversary?--Oh, yes, I remember, the market was up 3.29493% that day.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

'Your wife says you were married for 50 years and now you want to communicate?'

'No, there isn't a probationary period!'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

So all is not rosy in the garden?

Proud mums.

Kindly readers, our resident counselor, Sadie Cohen, will be answering actual questions sent to her via email. Prepare to get an earful of wisdom! Dr. Sadie, I am in a relationship with a beautiful woman who I wish to marry but am still reeling from my first marriage scares me. How do I get over that fear? Signed, Fearful in Salt Lake City. Fear is a worthless emotion. It doesn't help at all. What you should be feeling is terror. Run for your life.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

Gender Symbols

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

"I married for contrast."