Marriage Milestone Gifts

"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

"Can we role-play a couple who are too tired to have sex?"

"That's just the wine talking."

Dog to person whose legs are sticking out of doghouse: 'Which important date did you forget this time, Jeff?'

"I hunt, she gathers, but we always get together for cocktails at five."

"The containment dome only muffled him."

"You've been offered a role as a husband who's been married for thirty years."

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'Communication's the key to getting along with Alvin - As long as we avoid any everything's fine.'

'Today's our 15th wedding anniversary?--Oh, yes, I remember, the market was up 3.29493% that day.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

Man and woman surrounded by ivy.

"If it's all random, why are you always here?"

"You're still here. So much for wishes."

"I just saw my wife here, so I'd like some reassurance this is actually Heaven."

"You're right about my one-track mind so don't expect me to forgive and forget."

"When I first met him, he was my knight in shining armour. But, he hasn't been near the metal polish in years!"

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met..."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"I'm sorry, dear, but you know how I feel about intra-marital sex."

'I wonder what the ratio of thorns to roses would be in our marriage?'

'You can't agree with me now! -- I'm not done arguing yet!'

Old Man and Women

"Are you going bowling or is that Prada?"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'This would be so romantic if we weren't married to each other.'

'Oh yeah?! Well I apologized first!'

"Today is the first day of the rest of your wife."

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

"You've got a green light - use it!"

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."