Marriage Milestones Gifts

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Romance

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"You've changed."

Couples' therapy

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”