Milestone Dreader Gifts

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

Pearly King and Queen

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Deadline

"Careful."

Do you think I'm sixty?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

Jumping Man

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Broadway Theater coming productions. Look, they're bringing back a production of "Hair" with all the original cast members. It's going to be called "Bald".

Aging Problems

First Steps

Attic of hopes and dreams...

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'I'm fighting ageing.'

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."