Milestone Dreader Gifts

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"One year closer to college!"

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

Pilot with champagne.

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Gary turns 40.

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

Pearly King and Queen

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Deadline

Do you think I'm sixty?

An old man exercising with hourglasses

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Careful."

Jumping Man

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Gentlemen, a toast to our 4th fishing trip this year. Perhaps, one day, we'll remember to bring poles, in addition to beer.'

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

Aging Problems

'I'm fighting ageing.'

First Steps

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You're getting older... it's a common complaint.'

"It seemed a given that my bucket-list should include an actual bucket."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."