Microwave Mishap Lover Pillows

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

'You made me jump,'

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Job Safety - Lunch.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

The Off-Tones

Golf Cart Punctures

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

'Sarge - I think I've thrown my mobile!'

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.

'Magic and culinary.'

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."