Mechanical Mishap Lover Pillows

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Whatever the heck it is, it's built exactly to specifications.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Insurance claim on Grandma

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

A Hunter on a Mechanical Horse.

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

"I don't like sweetcorn".

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

"Don't panic. It's only a prototype."

'It's amazing, the way we met. I had just finished reading his bumper sticker 'Let's not meet by accident' when I tail-gated him.'

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

'Sarge - I think I've thrown my mobile!'

'Ooops. My bad. We should exchange insurance company numbers.'

'Time'

Golf Cart Punctures

The Off-Tones

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

"Neglected, his body slowly deteriorated until suddenly, he bursts open, innards flooding the floor."

'Magic and culinary.'

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.