Humor In Mishap Lover Pillows

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

A sporting gent practising for the hunting season.

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Insurance claim on Grandma

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'Maybe now you'll admit that we're lost!?'

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Um...Dr. Daly, I think there's something wrong with the MRI.'

"I don't like sweetcorn".

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

'I guess I should have let sleeping dogs lie.'

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

Frog gets the Fly. Ouch

"So you spilled your soda, big deal!"

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

The Off-Tones

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.

'It's amazing, the way we met. I had just finished reading his bumper sticker 'Let's not meet by accident' when I tail-gated him.'

'Sarge - I think I've thrown my mobile!'

Golf Cart Punctures

'Magic and culinary.'

Trumpet player punctures a cheek.

Zebra Crossing

Hey Siri, dictate a note. What would you like to say? Shhh!!! Whisper, Siri! I'm trying to dictate an article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist. I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. He said "I'm trying to dictate and article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist." Thanks.

This end up - You idiot.