Microwave Mishap Lover Gifts

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

'You made me jump,'

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

Microwave Popcorn. Other side up. Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna.

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

Job Safety - Lunch.

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

"Michael Bolton at Folsom Prison"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Um...Dr. Daly, I think there's something wrong with the MRI.'

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

Aw, dang, grabbed my cell phone.

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

"Why are you screaming at the microwave?"

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.

'Magic and culinary.'

M.D. You feel like you've been burning the candle at both ends? I feel like I've been sticking it in the microwave.

Golf Cart Punctures

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

The Off-Tones