Microwave Mishap Appreciator Gifts

Job Safety - Lunch.

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Here's your sweater back."

"Cat with nine still lives"

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

'You made me jump,'

Dog steals a cricket ball.

BEWARE! Cheshire snake in the grass!

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

Good Kitty No More.

Woman finds something in her soup.

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

Clown Airbags.

Cat sitting atop sleeping woman's head uses long straw to drink from glass in her lap.

A little green monster

"Time of death, 11:55." "Wait, what?" "No, sorry, my phone died."

"That's why we call him 'Slick'."

"Sorry about the reception, Lou. I grabbed my enchilada by mistake."

Cat eyes up a hard looking mouse from behind a pillar

Quasimodo Drops a Clanger

'When I asked for a bottle of house red...'

"Good Lord! He picked the salad fork!"

Page boy blowing his nose on the Brides Train Veil.

Cow sneezes milk at breakfast.

When I said, Do you want to go out> I meant to pee, not on a date.

'Oh, your mouth is saying 'Bow wow', Dolores, but your eyes are saying 'Woof'!'

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

'I think I know who's been tapping the sunday collection.'

Boy caught by a policeman

"Good heavens! Who hooked you up? This one is cable TV!"