Microwave Mishap Master Gifts

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'Happy now?'

'This is my natural habitat.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

Communication Breakdowns

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

'You made me jump,'

Untidy bedroom

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'When an outboard goes overboard'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

DIY expert.

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'Did you see my ball come by here?'

"One day, many years from now, we'll look back at this and laugh."

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal