Microwave Maestro Gifts

'What do you mean, you're not hungry? - Your mother spent two minutes cooking that in the microwave just for you!'

"I was going to make a seven course gourmet dinner, but the microwave is broken."

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

'We haven't started to learn to cook, we're still learning to thaw...'

Dad's Diner - 'The best in frozen foods'.

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

'This is good, dear...but no one can microwave like my mother.'

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"Please pass my compliments to the microwave."

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A Day In The Kitchen

Keeping all the balls in the air - skills

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Businessman wearing many hats.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"I see the downsizing continues."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'If I can't do it by iPhone, I don't do it.'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"My best friend is my phone."

Hollywood producer.

"Streaming"

"I'm right here. Focused!"

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

'I will never cease to be amazed at how deftly she balances the demands of career and family.'

"Speed reader...?"

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"