Microwave Maestros Gifts

Joe's Bar and Microwave 'The grill got busted.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Heroic Rescue from a Falling Tower

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

'Daddy is going off to stimulate the economy by making gobs of money.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

The Acme Agency: Dedicated to life, liberty and the pursuit of media exposure.

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

Hip-hop cops on stage.

The Four Tops in Concert

'I can't decide weather to have a feisty or a sassy management style.'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

Jean Philippe Rameau

The Poet.

Recording Studio

"Cool game!"

"I finished my act. Could you come over and give me a hand?"

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

Employees need to be treated like adults...

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

Requiem

Tom Waits.