Microwave Mishap Master T-Shirts

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

Face painting.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"I accidentally shredded an important document, so I'm trying to piece it back together. It should only take a few years."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

'This is my natural habitat.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

'Hey! Make sure those boots are muddy before you set foot in here,mister! Took me all morning to get this place filthy!'

Communication Breakdowns

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

'You made me jump,'

Untidy bedroom

'I hate to tell you... it's not 'amber waves of gain'.'

The life-changing magic of shoving everything into a huge Hefty bag and leaving it for somebody else to deal with.

'Wow- you're one helluva great cook! Even the stuff you ordered from the delivery store is burned!'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

DIY expert.

'When an outboard goes overboard'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'

Irritable gentleman disturbed by a bluebottle

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'That's it boy! Find the floor!'

Man throwing food on floor in the excitement of a goal