Microwave Mishaps Pillows

'You made me jump,'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

"Hold on, Brandon. Let your probationary period expire before you start microwaving fish."

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

Job Safety - Lunch.

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'Okay I'll admit you do look foolish but on positive side you were only one letter out!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed."

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

"Ms. Sherburn, could you bring me some scissors and another necktie please."

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

"Just curious, Edward. Have you ever butt dialed another woman?"

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

witch landing

"Plan B is firing however came up with Plan A."

"...I think I've flooded the carburettor!"

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

'I seem to remember a mishap during your first lesson...'

"Yes, this is Mr. Potus ...no, not the President of the United States."

'Get rid of your microwave -- at least that'll delay your meals a little.'

Tie caught in the Fax

'This will teach you to not use your computer in the tub. You can search for cars online after you get out.'

A man stumbling as his bus comes to a halt.

Oh, great, here comes that guy whose name I can never remember.