Mechanical Mishap Magnets Pillows

"...I think I've flooded the carburettor!"

A young Don King

'You made me jump,'

'The rain must have made our garage shrink...'

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

'Rurgh!!' - 'Burp!' - 'Form an orderly queue, ladies!'

"The card you are thinking of is... the fifth of Jacks!"

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

'The good news is we've found life on Mars. The bad news is we ran over it.'

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

A little green monster

"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed."

'Now that's extreme sport!'

Great. Now we're out of gas. What else can go wrong?

'What happened to your new shockproof, waterproof, dustproof watch?'

'Well, if this is a parachute, where the hell's our tent?'

"Last week, my husband waded into the cords behind our TV to untangle them, and I haven't seen him since."

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

'Missed!' (acrobat holding his partner's gloves)

witch landing

"Plan B is firing however came up with Plan A."

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

"The tmemptmation wath thoo greath."

Fred was mortified to discover his web cam was broadcasting to his new boss while he was seeing what he might look like after plastic surgery.

'Sorry, I've just pressed the wrong button.'

'THAT'S your ringtone - I'd like you to take me home now,'

Sen.Krupt. The microphone I didn't know was on took my remarks out of context.

Magician tells of Apprentice

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

'I seem to remember a mishap during your first lesson...'

'Being accident prone put him here in the first place. Who else but Fred would have a bee delivered with his flowers!'

Father's steamroller has run over child's bike.

Tie caught in the Fax

'This will teach you to not use your computer in the tub. You can search for cars online after you get out.'