Machine Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

The hall of bad ideas.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I can't turn it off.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Paramedic Mistakes.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Broken hospital sign.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

It was finally decided that the Chinese-made machetes were a poor investment.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

"911? My husband is complaining of chest pains!"

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

Sleepy man dribbling on a woman on the London underground

"Oops, forgot.... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."

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