Machine Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

"Harry, the glaucoma machine needs adjusting again!"

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

The hall of bad ideas.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'I can't turn it off.'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'I wish McWit would lead a life of quiet desperation.'

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Paramedic Mistakes.

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Broken hospital sign.

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

It was finally decided that the Chinese-made machetes were a poor investment.

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake.'

"911? My husband is complaining of chest pains!"

'Maybe you should let the wine you packed go to waste. That's the bag with our laundry.'

"Oops, forgot.... I also have REALLY high blood pressure."

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