Metropolitan Satirists Gifts

"I'd ask you up, Richard, but my roommates and I have a pretty strict 'no-"Times"-twits-in-seersucker' policy."

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

Vote Centrist to Keep Things Exactly as Awful as They Are

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

"Thank god we're out of the city."

"Oh, say you can't see, any conflicts of interest in me! What's good for my brand, is now the law of the land! And the crooked media's nasty glare, my killer tweets bursting in air... Gave proof to the news cycle, that I'm so awesome it's almost unfair!..

Antiwar Democrats Get Tough

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Blair picks safe poet caureate' "He was just giong through the motions"

War of Words

Suburban street.

This is where Brent council sends you

How much for the lamp post?

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden

Leftie Trump

"I've got to admit I'm not crazy about the freeway."

Autumn Leaves

Targeted Advertising

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Traffic Lights Medicine

Other Than That Everything's Perfect

Wife is reading a book intitled 'Meals in 5 minutes', husband is reading a book about 'Divorce in 5 days'.

Trump the Shepherdess

Messing Up My Metrics

Anthropologist presenting his findings in New York City

"The immigrant kids ate the class hamster, my teacher is an agent of Satan, and I got an A."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."

Lex Ave Express

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'