Metaphysical Quester Gifts

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

"Hmmm. I'm gonna have to Google this."

'That's funny, I'd have sworn you were a medium.'

'Oh Wise One, I have but one question... why are we here?'

'Our relationship isn't easy when she's always bringing up my past!'

'This?! This is the legendary fountain of youth that men have sought for centuries.'

"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

I just knew this would be dull.

Ouija board speaks recorded options

Antibody Metaphysics. But in a larger sense, aren't we really pro-body?

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

Astral Projecting Babushkas

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Department of Metaphysics.

'I met that handsome, exciting stranger you warned me about...Now, I want you to tell me when I'll meet him again...'

'I still don't understand quantum theory.'

Do you do cremations?

'Ray, I think you may have a winning lottery ticket in the pants you were buried in...'

Center for Reincarnation Studies. Welcome Back.