Metaphysical Quester Pillows

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Evidence of Bigfoot or just some clown?"

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"I've been asked to dance on the head of a pin" "Yeah, you and an infinite number of others."

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'Why, thank you -- I made it out of a molehill.'

'That's funny, I'd have sworn you were a medium.'

I just knew this would be dull.

'Oh Wise One, I have but one question... why are we here?'

'Our relationship isn't easy when she's always bringing up my past!'

"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

Ouija board speaks recorded options

'I met that handsome, exciting stranger you warned me about...Now, I want you to tell me when I'll meet him again...'

'Gee, I'd like to help you folks out, but I'm just a character assassin.'

Astral Projecting Babushkas

Astral Projection Society: In Body....Out of Body.

Department of Metaphysics.

'I still don't understand quantum theory.'

Do you do cremations?

'So, how does my future look?'