Metaphysical Adventurer Pillows

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Transcendental Hygienist: 'Say ommmm.'

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Right here's fine."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Do you have an appointment?"

FAQs.

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

Teddy Bear

King flicking out his tongue to catch a fly.

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Joyce! The poltergeist are having another dinner party!"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

"You've reached the consciousness-raising call center. For the meaning of life, press 1. For the secret to happiness, press 2. For the joke of the day, press 3."