Metaphor Muser T-Shirts

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Changing Room Decisions

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

"I love it....but lose the bodies"

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"Can't you ever relax?"

society of cartoonists...

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

'Bit early for Surrealism, isn't it?'

"If a stock falls in the market and no one's around, does it really lose its value?"

"Yeah. What I remember most is that you still owe me money!"

"I'm betting you don't buy that eye of a needle crap..."