Meta Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

Toni Morrison

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Fresh Blood In Politics

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

Great literary festival heckles.

"Do you believe me now? Look at him — he poured my water bowl on your head, not me. He drew us. He controls everything!"

Artists draw speed lines next to their car.

"Pettigrew! - You forget this is a cartoon and I can see every word that you think!!"

"This is actually a cartoon about lemmings - just wait for it."

Unreliable Narrator

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Noah's ark in a draught.

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."

"Yeah...I'm looking at you. See how you like it."