Self-narrative Enthusiast Gifts

My Biography - Modern Memorial

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Audio Books

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

'I wouldn't advise you to write your autobiography. It would be a very dull read.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

Proceedings of the club

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'What's the difference between solitude and loneliness, doctor?'

'Someone stole my identity, didn't like it and sent it back.'

"It's post-gingerbread."

Meet the pop-up author.

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

Toni Morrison

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"Oh come now, Mr And Mrs narcissus, Have you two been fighting again?"

'If only I could accept that I can't accept being someone who finds it hard to accept acceptance from those who accept me for the person that I can't accept I really am.'