Meta-fiction Aficionados Gifts

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

The loving, yet vengeful God of Cheshire!

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

Thomas Keneally

Gulliver's other travels.

Frankenstein's Ancestry

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Newton Discovers Surrealism.

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

"OMG! A portal to another panel."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

I've realized something: It's likely that there's only one way for mankind to reach the stars in our lifetimes. Do tell. Scientists believe we'll be able to upload our minds in just 30 years. That means NASA could upload everyone's mind to a robot, and launch it into space. We wouldn't need life support. We wouldn't be affected by radiation or anything. We could even sleep for the 100 years or so it took to get to the nearest star. Then that robot could build more robots and download our minds t

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"And yet, I too am a still life."

Louisa May Alcott

Keri Hulme

"The whole thing is basically fiction. But I just thought my resume could use some spice."

Other Fiction

"I think you need to reboot your carrot."