Fantasy Fiction Aficionados Gifts

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to defend their pail of water."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

Late BroomStick

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

J. R. R. Tolkien

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

'One more curse out of you, young man, and it's right down to the principal's office.'

"We could have been here sooner, but we wanted to wait until the beautiful Yellow Brick Road was built."

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Yeah, that's right. I'm the sandman. Where did you think I was getting my sand all these years?"

'I need a sun cream with a very high protection factor.'

'I've no time for these foragers - they come into the area and snap up all the best houses...'

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

"Devi's brew?"

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

Hansel and Gretal

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Going Down?

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Beware of the Cat.

"Relax, I'll go back and find it."

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

Mermaids in love

'Whomever pulls the sword from the stone will lead this project.'

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

'He followed me home...Can I kiss him?'

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

Once you get the shells off they're really quite tasty.