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The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

"Yes, could you discuss the inspiration for the protagonist? Specifically, the motivations which propel the direction of his narrative?" "I would prefer not to." "Bartleby, the author."

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

"OMG! A portal to another panel."

Toni Morrison

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

Fresh Blood In Politics

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

"And yet, I too am a still life."

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."

"Do you believe me now? Look at him — he poured my water bowl on your head, not me. He drew us. He controls everything!"

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

Great literary festival heckles.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- Career Duck

Artists draw speed lines next to their car.

"Really? You told him he's a digitally drawn cartoon that could be deleted at any moment with a single keystroke?"

"This is actually a cartoon about lemmings - just wait for it."

"Pettigrew! - You forget this is a cartoon and I can see every word that you think!!"

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

"Your life's story lacks a protagonist."

Noah's ark in a draught.

Unreliable Narrator

"Relax. You're a famous author - no one expects you to talk about anything other than yourself."