Messy Moments Aficionado Pillows

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"You and your daft inventions."

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'Well this is awkward.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

'You're honoured, Mr. Coombes - He won't do that for just anyone!'

'How do I know your ours?'

"Wet wipe?"

Husband Descending a Staircase After Tripping on his Wife's Shoes

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but with Jimmy it's next to impossible.'

'We were mud wrestling.'

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

Mel forgets to zip up his fanny pack before breakdancing.

'Hi honey, take me off the speakerphone.'

"A word of advice. . . next time you use the firm's intranet to send a message of undying love. Don't press 'send all'."

"No, it's not burglars dear, it's only Samantha looking for the chocolate biscuits!"

'Tsk, the garden's full of the dog's mess again...'

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"Gather 'round and I'll sing in a style that's just earnest enough to make you uncomfortable."

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'