Messy Moments Aficionado Gifts

'I didn't hear about any oil spill on the news!'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Because of the mess, 'Mr. Potato Salad-Head' never took off.'

You're so beautiful, I can't take my eyes off you, even though there's a fly in my soup doing the backstroke, which is comedy gold!

"You and your daft inventions."

"Apart from that, Bob, what else did you learn on the team-building paintball weekend?"

'Well this is awkward.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"If that girl sent over a double cappuccino, maybe you should go talk to her!"

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 5. Forget how hot the coffee is while you're thinking how cool you look sitting in a coffee shop.

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

'How do I know your ours?'

'You're honoured, Mr. Coombes - He won't do that for just anyone!'

Husband Descending a Staircase After Tripping on his Wife's Shoes

"Wet wipe?"

'I know I said you could take me home but I didn't mean to your place!'

It's a shame, but I'm still deciding if it

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

'Your little one is giving the sitter a big kiss-of life.'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

'We were mud wrestling.'

'What do you expect Marjorie, I am a grub.'

'Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but with Jimmy it's next to impossible.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

Mel forgets to zip up his fanny pack before breakdancing.

'Hi honey, take me off the speakerphone.'

"No, it's not burglars dear, it's only Samantha looking for the chocolate biscuits!"

'Tsk, the garden's full of the dog's mess again...'

'I thought you said he was housetrained!'

"A word of advice. . . next time you use the firm's intranet to send a message of undying love. Don't press 'send all'."

"Gather 'round and I'll sing in a style that's just earnest enough to make you uncomfortable."

'My husband is a police detective. He does know how to toss a room.'